Today is an ok day.. I guess.. I can not complain.. It is cool outside and the sun is shining. I have my ticket booked for my trip abroad in March and I am excited. I will be putting some things to rest while embarking on some new adventures. I plan to meet some of my old friends of whom I met while I lived there for a year and I might meet some new ones. 

God I miss my life there. I hope to be able to live there for another extended period of time in the near future.

I was able to live in my truth while so far away from the truth that others had created over time.

It felt so wonderful and spiritually fulfilling to be able to have my external life match my thoughts and desires.

Rebel?!?!… NO!! I just can see through people’s fanatical realities of what self is and delusional insanities. I don’t want any part of it.

As usual I think and I think and I think..lol

Although I am getting better at releasing my thoughts via blogging, I am not just where I want to be.  As verbal and expressive as I think I am.. Some thoughts will continue to remain as just thoughts I guess.

I still search myself every moment of the day.. Well maybe not every moment, but I try to be as aware as I can without being fanatical or insane about it.

The other day.. a friend asked if I wanted to attend her anger managment class with her.  My answer was.. “Nawww, My anger keeps me living, without it I would be insane” Is that really true?!?!? Can it be?!?!? Maybe so…lol

I realize that those are true words for most people..lol

I guess it’s all good as long as we learn from it and work thought it.. Right?!?! Then I have to ask myself… What is sanity?  lol

Oh well.. I guess I will go now.. I have a color wheel to paint…  and more thinking to do…lol